How have we used our 100 words this week?

100 wc Ella

As I lept up from my seat in the cinema as my mum covered her eyes “ AHHHHHHH “ my screams echoed around the room my mum now holding her heart.
When i left the cinema i said
“ That film was amazing mum “
“ That mockingjay film scared the living daylights out of me, what do you mean it was amazing “ said my mum .
writhing with energy i bounced of the walls my mum is now becoming paranoid with the fact that i am showing her what was that i could feel i turned around and five fingers laid themselves on my soldier i gasped for air and turned back around TO FIND IT WAS my mum aghhh …

Posted by on January 19th, 2015 at 2:33 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)

3 Responses to “100 wc Ella”

  1.   Tom Smith Says:

    Ella, I really like your story, but keep an eye on capital letters, “i” should be a capital.

    Very good story, keep up the good work.

    Tom Smith

  2.   Team 100 Canada Says:

    Hi Ella
    I can see that you really enjoyed the latest Hunger Games movie – even if it did scare you! You used some excellent vocabulary to show your feelings and really tried to capture the moment. I would suggest that rereading your writing several times would help you to improve the flow by adding punctuation and checking spelling – I think you meant ‘shoulder’ instead of ‘soldier’.
    Keep up the good work!

  3.   Mrs C (Team 100) Says:

    Ella, you have used some great words, such as, writhing, echoed and bounced, which really help the reader to picture what is happening. You have included a couple of complex sentences, which I am sure your teacher will be pleased about, but remember, they need a comma. For example – As I leapt up from my seat in the cinema, my mum screamed.I think I am like your mum, I do not like scary movies either! Well done, I believe I have read some of your work before and I think it is improving. Mrs C (Team 100)

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