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100 word challenge week 5 by Charlie D

Long, long ago the was a knight called Kitty. He slayed the tiny to the giant the skiny to the fattest he could slay anything. One day Kitty was eating a hearty breakfast of cat food. As he looked around a giant fat Elephant Rat tried to attack him. He ran to his time machine and went to 2014 to get the nerd. After that the nerd and him went to destroy this evil and ugly Dragon. It took 20,000,000 hits before the Dragon died and stayed dead forever. The end

Posted by on September 30th, 2014 at 1:47 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (5)




5 Responses to “100 word challenge week 5 by Charlie D”

  1.   Helen Whittaker Says:

    You story starts really well Charlie. I thought it was very clever how you wrote ‘ the tiny to the giant and the skinny to the fattest. You have a really super imagination . Your sentence punctuation makes your writing easy to read and enjoy. Well done.

  2.   Helen Whittaker (team 100WC) Says:

    oops I was so excited reading your story I forgot to write team 100 WC!

  3.   Mr Addison Says:

    How did he destroy him? Just by hitting him? How could you describe this in a better way?

  4.   H0pefulmummy (team 100wc) Says:

    Hi, Charlie. I think that you open your story really well – watch for “the” and “there” though! Your punctuation helps me read the story and follow what is happening. I think that you could make this even better by adding wow! words (or adjectives) and and different verbs – this would add drama to your story and make it even more exciting. Keep on writing!

  5.   Vanessa team 100, France Says:

    Well done, Charlie – I really enjoyed your piece of writing. It is well punctuated and therefore easy to read. Try to read your work through and correct any obvious mistakes (‘the’ and ‘there’) and maybe incorporate or change some stronger descriptive words. I’m not sure if Kitty and the nerd are attacking a dragon or the rat – so a final reading check could sort out any discrepancies which may confuse the reader. However, the story began very well and shows a good imagination! Good luck with your next challenge!

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