How have we used our 100 words this week?
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Archie p week 20 100wc

One snowy day i was going to Africa i had a lovely sandwich i was very miserable.Suddenly the plane started going down the plane was out of control everyone was screaming the plane was in the middle of nowhere i started freaking out i was scared i jumped out of the plane i saw a ugly as hell hyena is was a funny grey colour i ran far away to the sand mountain i was so scared .

 

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 2:16 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (2)




2 Responses to “Archie p week 20 100wc”

  1.   Miss Baker (Team 100) Says:

    Hi Archie,

    Thank you for your entry this week. I’m glad you managed to include all 5 words in your writing as this can be quite tricky. Just remember you have 100 words to use, this seems a little short. Sometimes you need all the words you can to make your writing great! Also don’t forget to use a capital letter for the word ‘I’.

    Keep writing!

  2.   Helen Whittaker 100WC Says:

    You have written an exciting story for this week’s 100WC Archie. I felt as if I was there with you! Your story could be made easier to read if you use some shorter sentences. I think I know where you meant to start new sentences and I expect if you read it to someone they would hear where your sentences are in your exciting story. However you have only used 2 full stops and that meakes it harder to read and enjoy. Can you see where full stops and capital letters should be?
    Ps Did you forget the word climb?

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