How have we used our 100 words this week?

Bridget Week 20

my brothers birthday !

wow !  what a day ! i went to the cake shop and brought a grey birthday cake , superheros , then i went to the sandwich shop and got a scrummy baloney sandwich. Then i went home ! Before i went home i went to the zoo to get my brother a penguin cuddly toy ,its his fave animal, while i was there i walked pass a hyena ! Then i went shopping downtown for a new outfit ! Then i came across a miserable cat then it started climbing up a bin. Then i went into new look and brought a new outfit ! Then i arrived home got changed and was just in time for his birthday x phe wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

 

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 2:20 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)




3 Responses to “Bridget Week 20”

  1.   Ms Brennock team 100 w/c Says:

    Well done on your entry this week Bridget. I enjoyed all the things that you mentioned you did. You certainly had a busy day. Make sure to use capital letters at the start of sentences, for the letter ‘I’ and for your title.
    Well done and keep writing.

  2.   Mrs Fine (100WC Team) Says:

    Hi Bridget. Well you used all 5 prompt words didn’t you? It must have been hard as they don’t really go together. No wonder you were so busy. I can see why you used the exclamation marks, which help your reader understand the pace of the day and all the different things that happened. I like your ending (although did it really need all those ‘w’s?). Next time, be very strict with yourself about your ‘I’s – they should all be capital, and type your exclamation mark right next to the last letter of the sentence – there should be no space. Well done, keep writing, it’s getting better and better.

  3.   Theresa 100WC Says:

    Hey Bridget,
    It is so clever how you tied all the words together into a story about a birthday party. I appreciated the sensory details you used, especially the scrummy sandwiches. I wonder if there are other, more specific words, that you could use rather than “then”? A phrase like, “A few minutes later” or “While I was walking” can better show the passage of time and also allow you to have more variety in how your sentences start.
    Keep up the great writing!
    Ms. Rainey (from sunny California)

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