How have we used our 100 words this week?
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elsie week 23

As I slowly strolled through the forest, there was a strange looking settee placed at the other of the forest. I cautiously walked towards the grey stone settee. As I finally sat, suddenly… I fell, CRASH!!!!! I went down, down, down a land with wine red blood splats dripping from every direction. Everything went black as if it was a power cut that never ended. Sweat was dripping down my for head as I woke as I realised it was a magical dream. I pinched myself hard and pierced my skin, blood trickled from my arm i squinted my eyes as I then realised It wasen’t a dream I was locked up in a room of stone talking settees throwing sharp knifes across the room.

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 4:47 pm and tagged ,  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)




3 Responses to “elsie week 23”

  1.   Laura Alonso Says:

    Elsie,
    You have written a wild, magical and imaginative story here! I loved reading it! You’ve not only used a lot of lovely description, but also tricked your reader – I am really glad it wasn’t a dream. I love the image of the “power cut that never ended”. Really well done – keep up the great writing!
    Laura A, Team100, Luxembourg

  2.   Helen Whittaker (team 100WC) Says:

    You have really thought about how to make the reader want to follow your story for the 100WC Elsie. It’s all very exciting and mysterious. You’ve punctuated well but occasionally where you’ve linked two ideas in a long sentence, it would be more effective to write the ideas as two short sentences. For example:
    I pinches myself hard and pierced my skin. Blood trickled from my arm. I squinted my eyes as I then realised it wasn’t a dream.
    I think you’ve also chosen some fabulous vocabulary. Occasionally you’ve missed a word out ‘at the other……of the forest’ and although this doesn’t stop the reader understanding you could avoid this by reading back your writing.
    Well done Elsie, A SUPER 100WC.

  3.   saffron lily Says:

    hay love your work mate it is brill i will check your work evrey day lol

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