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Ethan A 100wc week 20

One day a little boy named Brandon McKinnon was playing football with his friend Seth About until brandon booted the ball in to the forest and when he went to go and find the ball he heard a weird sound it was the leaves rattling brandon went to go see what it was and he found out it was a miserable hyena. Brandon said hey come get some sandwiches with me and my friend seth and they did.After they ate their sandwiches they painted some grey pictures and pretended to climb up mountains.So The hyeana went home happily and played with Brandon and Seth every day.

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 3:54 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)




3 Responses to “Ethan A 100wc week 20”

  1.   connolly Says:

    very intoresting

  2.   Lisa Team 100WC Says:

    Hi Ethan, this was a really interesting story with some unusual and fun details. I liked the way that your story moved forward. Keep working on your punctuation and keep writing!

  3.   Helen Whittaker 100WC Says:

    This is a well written 100WC Ethan. You’ve used some connectives to link your sentences together – well done. Your first sentence is very long and needs splitting into shorter sentences to help the reader. If you read it back to yourself you should be able to decide where you can make shorter sentences.

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