How have we used our 100 words this week?

Ethan A 100wc week 23

Target: to use commas in my sentences

Once there lived a army of brave ,smart ,thoughtful and silly knights.These knights lived in a village mostly made out of really hard rock ,stone and iron. There job was to take care of there mean ,beastly ,enormous and fire breathing dragons from the great and powerful dragon god. One morning every knight in the castle was doing there dayly boring coras until the most precious rock couch gets blown to pieces the knights think “it must of been the dragon god during the night”. So the knights lost the plot and ferociously stabbed the dragon god until he was lifeless and won the fight!!!

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 4:45 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)

3 Responses to “Ethan A 100wc week 23”

  1.   Elizabeth Hopkinson Team 100WC Says:

    You’ve been working very hard to think of good adjectives, Ethan! Just don’t use too many at once; it’s a bit like putting too much spice in your cookery – your writing looses its flavour if adjectives are everywhere. I think you might have lost concentration part-way through (typos, and you changed tense) but it has a good, strong ending. Well done!

  2.   Mrs Fine (100WC Team) Says:

    Hi Ethan
    What a marvellously descriptive piece you have written this week. You have chosen some great adjectives to describe the knights – immediately I liked the knights but thought they were going to mess up (as indeed they did). The dragons sound terrifying from your list of adjectives, once again very well chosen. A couple of tips for next time – the space always goes after the comma, not before, and the phrase inside the speech marks should have been “it must have been…” Well done.

  3.   Mrs Barnes team member Says:

    I enjoyed your story with all its exciting action. I did question how the Knights could be smart and silly. Also check the difference between “there” and “their” so that your writing makes sense. Also, ” it must HAVE been” please, never ” must of been” but well done overall.

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