How have we used our 100 words this week?

harry 100wc week 19

my target to put a capital letter for a name.

The Dark Street
It was a dark misty night and there was a glowing
light in the sky went I heard a creaking sound in the distance. Then I heard a screaming sound very near me so then my heart was in my mouth. I kept running and running until I got to the police station and then I was shouting at the top of my voice at the police man. Full of fear saying “help please help me everyone is chasing me!” but it was a trick it was a person with a harsh voice pulled out a gun and put it to my head…

Posted by on January 26th, 2015 at 2:17 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (4)




4 Responses to “harry 100wc week 19”

  1.   Miss T team 100wc Says:

    Hi Harry

    Wasn’t the picture great this week? You have used it to create a very tense piece of writing. Using phrases like “full of fear” and “my heart was in my mouth” really helps to understand how the character is feeling.

    In order to make this even better try not to use the word ‘then’ so often. Your writing can be even more creative if you left it out completely, try that and see how it alters your writing.

    Miss T team 100wc
    Hampshire

  2.   Ms. Sargent Team 100WC-USA Says:

    Harry:

    You have done a nice job developing your story and capturing the feeling of the photo prompt by using descriptive words.The beginning of the story was more effective than the end, however, where it got confusing. Did you read this over to yourself? This might have helped you see this for yo0urself.

    Ms. Sargent
    Team 100 WC-USA

  3.   Thomas Hugo Says:

    I thought the story was really good keep up the good work

  4.   Barbara McFall (Team 100WC) teacher at Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA Says:

    Hello Harry,
    You have used descriptive words well to create pictures in the minds of your readers. I especially enjoyed how you described the misty night, glowing sky and creaking sound in the distance. It set the tone of the whole story. Good job!
    I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Barbara McFall Team 100WC
    The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA

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