How have we used our 100 words this week?

jake g Week 23

As I walked through the woods I saw a settee hanging from  a tree there was a girl lade dead on the settee. I walked and I phoned  the police they came and they called the ambulance and pulled her body down they said did you see any one kill her  I said no and they took me to the police station and they said you have to stay in a sell and they took me back in the morning to my family I went back to the settee  and some one else was there and it started all over again………………………………………

 

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 2:21 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (2)




2 Responses to “jake g Week 23”

  1.   Laura Alonso Says:

    Jake,
    Oh no, this sounds like a terrible nightmare that you cannot wake up from! It’s a really good idea, though – well done. Next time try and add some more description or maybe include how the characters feel. Keep up the great ideas!
    Laura A, Team100, Luxembourg

  2.   Fiona (Team 100WC) Says:

    Hi Jake,

    I really like that your 100WC suggests at the end that your character is in a different world where the same horrid things happen again and again. I felt quite sad about what your character had seen, and I wondered what they were feeling. Next time have a read of your story with someone so that you can check together about where you need to add extra punctuation. Well done!

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