How have we used our 100 words this week?

jakeg:) week 19

it dark night in London. I watching YouTube on my phone I heard  something down stairs my mum was there with my step dad my dog  had puppies . and they were so quite we made some food for breakfast we washed the puppies to make them all clean and sat down with them and we all played games and and. had burger king it was realy nice and the we all went to bed we woke up and had to give the pups some food and they went to sleep we went and had some lunch we came back and ate  the end .

Posted by on January 26th, 2015 at 5:00 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (4)

4 Responses to “jakeg:) week 19”

  1.   Caitlin Says:

    Well done. Best 100 we ever.

  2.   Ms. Sargent Team 100WC-USA Says:

    Hi Jake,
    Being there when a dog has puppies is very exciting. Was the photo prompt to you just the kind of night it was when the dog had puppies?
    Suggestion: It would be easier for your reader to stay focused on what your story is if you took the time to read your work over and correct careless mistakes.

  3.   Laura Alonso Says:

    I really like the opening of your story and you set the scene really well for the main action of the story – the birth of the puppies. I like the detail about having to wash and feed them. Just watch the very end of your story as it gets quite repetitive with the action (sleeping and eating!)
    Keep it up!
    Laura A, Team100, Luxembourg

  4.   Barbara McFall (Team 100WC) teacher at Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA Says:

    Hello Jake,
    I enjoyed your story about your puppies. I could tell it was a special time. My students are lucky to have 2 school dogs that they can cuddle with each day.
    I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Barbara McFall Team 100WC
    The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA

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