How have we used our 100 words this week?

Jazmin 100wc week 23

Target:to not use the same word all the time.

I was walking across the path then I saw a bench in a shape of a sofa which was made of bricks. On top was a fake cat and at the bottom there were frills a like proper sofa also on the back was a blanket the arm rest have swirls on them it looks amazing. My friend came over to ask what was wrong and then saw it her mouth dropped she was amazed and speechless then my mum called because we had to pack up and go home.

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 1:52 pm | Comments & Trackbacks (2)

2 Responses to “Jazmin 100wc week 23”

  1.   Jilanne Hoffmann Says:

    Hi Jazmin,

    I enjoyed your story and the way you included a description of the sofa. What do you think was going through your friend’s mind as she gazed at the couch, speechless? What were her thoughts? Do you think there’s a way to show this using dialogue? Give it a try and see what happens! Thank you for participating in the 100 WC!

    Keep writing!
    Jilanne (team 100)

  2.   Mrs Fine (100WC Team) Says:

    Hi Jazmin
    What a great setting description – you describe the sofa really well with lots of adjectives and similes. Well done. When you introduced your friend into the piece I loved your phrase ‘amazed and speechless’ and I thought something unusual was going to happen to the sofa, perhaps you may have sat on it and been transported to another world! But no, just mum coming to take you home. Never mind, perhaps next time!

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