How have we used our 100 words this week?

kai week 23

Hi its me again

Finally we broke free from syria’s base and ran to the nearest town but it was destroyed. Were all exhausted we got to a bench I called shotgun so I got to sleep on the bench. Suddenly we was awoken by the syrians shouting “get them.”
We all jumped up and ran for our lives. We managed to get away and hid in a massive wide bush. When they gave up looking for us we ran to the nearest helipad and called the marines to pick us up.

To all my followers this is the end of the first series
but i’m starting another one.
thank you all for reading my first series.

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 2:19 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (1)

One Response to “kai week 23”

  1.   Ms. Toal (Team 100WC) Says:

    Hello Kai,

    What an action-packed entry you have written this week! It reminded me of a war film. I am left wondering what happens before and after, but I see you have written other stories in this series! I like how you have broken your writing up into small paragraphs, that makes it quite easy to follow.
    I wonder could you use more description of how your characters felt when all of this was going on. You have mentioned that they are exhausted, but I would imagine they were terrified of being captured too. You could also use more dialogue (speaking parts) between your characters to make your writing more interesting. Also, have another check over your capital letters. I can see a few places where you have left them out, can you?

    Well done, keep entering the 100WC!
    Best wishes,
    Ms. Toal,
    Dublin, Ireland.

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