How have we used our 100 words this week?

kierons 100 wc

A windy and stormy night Cosmic was roaming the old streets of the x and y war stood there a stone couch. Which had a million little men inside of it which had agreed that if a giant came they would form an army to make a giant. But Cosmic shrunk down to their size to reason with them and then darkrai showed up and started causing havoc everywhere just to get the lord of darkness to make everything dark and gloomy but Cosmic stopped him and saved the day but all is not well lurking in the shadows is DESTROYER

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015 at 4:47 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (6)




6 Responses to “kierons 100 wc”

  1.   Emily Sims Says:

    Kieron,

    This was an excellent, original and well written piece of writing. You used description and varied vocabulary brilliantly and the ending shocked me and made me want to know more!
    Emily, Team100

  2.   Mrs DW Team 100 Says:

    Keiron

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, you have a really creative mind and I love the idea of little people, forming an army to beat up the giant.

    But conversations work best very often.

    Well done.

  3.   Mrs DW Team 100 Says:

    Keiron

    Well done Keiron and thank you for sharing your story with us, you have a great imagination.

    I liked the idea of the little people joining together to fight the giant, but conversation works well.

    Well done.

  4.   Mj Says:

    Great story I really like the start of it because you really described the weather.

  5.   Ms. Sargent Team 100WC-USA Says:

    Hi Kierons,

    I especially liked your use of descriptive language. It made your story fun to read and certainly gave the reader pictures in his/her mind. It was a little confusing, however, when you didn’t start all your sentences with capital letters and end them with a period. It’s always good to take the time to read over your work once you finish it.

    Ms. Sargent WC100–USA

  6.   Miss P Says:

    Hi Kieron,
    I really like that you have taken a science-fiction angle with your piece of writing. It is different, which makes your work interesting. You’ve used some high quality vocabulary; havoc, roaming, reason, gloomy, shadows, lurking. These words really help build a picture in my mind. For next time, be sure to have a buddy read your work before publishing, to help make a few fix-ups. Thanks for sharing your work with us.
    Miss P
    Team 100WC
    Australia

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