How have we used our 100 words this week?

Mia 100 wc week 19


target: To put full stops
One day, I looked out of my bedroom window and what I saw was a car driving and a person riding a bike and the car was coming out of a corner and the  person on the bike was coming out of the other corner and suddenly the car came out of the corner and the bike was going out of the other side and the car crashed into the person on the bike .The person who was in the car jumped out of his car and he helped the person on the bike get up and the person was hurt.

Posted by on January 26th, 2015 at 2:20 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (5)

5 Responses to “Mia 100 wc week 19”

  1.   Helen Whittaker (team 100WC) Says:

    Your 100WC sounds like an exciting police report Mia! You do need to remember your target of using full stops. Your writing would be so much easier to read.

  2.   Mrs DW Team 100 Says:


    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your target of adding more full stops is a challenging one. Your first sentence could do with a couple more full stops and not using and to join the thoughts.

    Have another go next time.

    Keep writing. Well done.

    Mrs DW

  3.   flossy Says:

    Hi Mia you have a very interesting story, I didn’t know what was going to happen with both the car and the bike going around the corner at the same time.
    One thing to look at is that you have kept the story interesting because you just finished it with no suspense.
    But other wise I would like to see your next post. and come and check my blog out.

  4.   Mrs T (Team100WC) Says:

    Mia – you have some lovely detail in your story. I appreciate you have a target to put full stops and hopefully we can help you with that. If you changed the first long sentence into many short sentences, using a full stop instead of ‘and’, that would make your writing very exciting. Maybe try that next time.

    Good luck – and keep writing 🙂

  5.   Laura Alonso Says:

    Great 100WC effort. You build up to the crash well and you’ve tried using full stops, though must continue to practise where they must go. try reading your story out loud to a friend. I like your use of the adverb “suddenly” to describe the action. Well done!
    Laura A, Team100, Luxembourg

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