How have we used our 100 words this week?

Mia Week 12

He was shocked to find a brown monkey when he opened the sack kicking in fear from the lord of nulth. The brown monkey ran out of the sack but the lord of nulth caught him and tried to put the brown monkey back into the sack but couldn’t because the brown monkey wasn’t letting the lord of nulth make the brown monkey go into the sack. The brown monkey wanted to bite the lord of nulth so the brown monkey did bite the him. The lord of nulth said “Ooowww!”.And dropped the brown monkey. And thats how the night ended.M

Posted by on November 21st, 2014 at 6:16 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (2)

2 Responses to “Mia Week 12”

  1.   Mrs Johnson (Team 100 Wc - Australia) Says:

    Dear Mia
    Thanks you entering the challenge this week. It sounds like you had a scary time in the Night Zoo. Make sure you remember you capitals for proper nouns eg. Lord of Nulth and apostrophes eg. that’s. Keep up the good writing.
    Mrs Johnson

  2.   Mrs C (Team 100) Says:

    Mia, I like how your story has a bit of a twist – who would think that a monkey would win over the Lord of Nulth. Once you have mentioned that the monkey is brown, there is no need to repeat the colour. That way, you would have had more words you could have written. My favourite phrase you have used is ‘kicking in fear,’ that really explains how the monkey felt, well done. Mrs C *Team 100)

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