How have we used our 100 words this week?

my life by ella

When I woke up on Monday I was being miserable so I climbed out of bed to brush my teeth. But I had not had breakfast so I plodded like a donkey down the hallway to the stairs. I have to make it but instead I went to the toilet and then got back in bed so my mum decided to chuck water over me soaking me and my bed. “Nice one mum!” such a pleasure to live with a grey mum who laughs like a hyena after 1 whole hour I finally ate a sandwich “I so hate Mondays!”

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 2:08 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (3)

3 Responses to “my life by ella”

  1.   Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) Says:

    Hello Ella,

    I think most of us have had one of those miserable mornings when bed draws us back in like a magnet. I don’t think mum’s solution of waking you with water would make your day happier. Back in the late 70s, a group known as The Boomtown Rats sang a song fitting well with your story. It was called “I Don’t Like Mondays”. I wonder if they had water thrown over them while in bed on a miserable Monday?

    You have made good use of the prompt words in creating your story. Well done. I can see you have also tried to take care with spelling and punctuation although I might suggest uniting your first two sentences as one or removing “but” at the beginning of the second. “But” normally would not begin a sentence.

    I hope you are able to continue entering the 100WC and sharing your ideas. Mondays needn’t seem so bad when you have a creative mind like yours. Your imagination can take you to unknown worlds when Monday looms.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  2.   Mrs Fine (100WC Team) Says:

    HI Ella, you made me laugh this week. I hope this particular Monday wasn’t a school day otherwise I think you would have been in a bad mood all day, not to say, late! There are several bits I like in your writing – ‘plodded like a donkey’, super – ‘such a pleasure to live with a grey mum who laughs like a hyena’, just enough sarcasm to make it funny. Well done. For next time, in amongst the clever phrasing, don’t forget your punctuation – that last sentence is soooo long!

  3.   ella Says:

    thank you for all my feed back
    its is really useful and it was a school day mrs fine

Leave a Reply