How have we used our 100 words this week?
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Owen 100 wc week 20

Target: to use commas and capital letters correctly

Today i went to follow the humans on their huge miserable grey truck. Around my home,africa. I am a hyena and I like to climb my rock in the middle of the desert. It is so miserable like me I don’t have any friends, The only friend i’ve got is my rock and my rock doesnt do anything.When I found a sandwich it was covered in grey hair and was furry it was the only thing I could find to eat the other hyenas just laughed at me because they had all the bird in the whole of south africa. I then ran off and cried and didn’t go back.

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 2:06 pm and tagged ,  | Comments & Trackbacks (4)




4 Responses to “Owen 100 wc week 20”

  1.   Tracey Says:

    Hello Owen,

    Oh dear, your hyena truly does sound miserable. I would be too if presented with a hair-covered, furry sandwich. You done a lovely job keeping the tone of your piece from beginning to end.

    Do take some time to check your capitals and punctuation. It really does help your readers enjoy your writing. You have some proper nouns that need capitals and few places where full stops are missing.

    Keep up your writing!

    Tracey
    Team 100WC
    San José, California, US

  2.   Mr Dunn Team 100WC Says:

    Nice piece of writing this week Owen. I enjoyed your take on the ending. Well done keep up the awesome effort.

  3.   Fiona (Team 100WC) Says:

    I really did feel sorry for your poor hyena by the end, Owen. Well done for getting all of the prompt words into your 100WC this week and for crafting a great story from them. Well done- keep up the good work.
    Fiona (Team 100WC)

  4.   Ms. Sargent Team 100WC-USA Says:

    Hi Owen,

    The best part of your story was the part where you describe the experience of the hyena. I couldn’t figure out how the first sentence fit — why was he following the truck? A rock is kind of hard to have for a friend, but I guess it is better than nothing. At least a rock won’t laugh at you. Your best de4scription was of the sandwich all covered with fur. Not very tempting for lunch.

    Ms. Sargent
    Team 100WC–100

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