How have we used our 100 words this week?

the slender story 100 wc ethan a

As I was walking through the dark scary woods something touched me it felt weird, I thought what could it be! What was that I could feel is it a spider is it slenderman well I don’t know I got extremely scared because I didn’t know what touched me.furthermore I saw a page it said i’m coming after you if you don’t get out of my woods!!! As well as, I heard a scream so I ran I ran as fast as I can until I saw where the scream came from. It was jeff my best friend he was lying on the ground with a knife in his heart with a note next to the body. The note said (slender did this) I quickly told everyone as fast as I can we also still miss jeff.

Posted by on January 19th, 2015 at 2:49 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (2)

2 Responses to “the slender story 100 wc ethan a”

  1.   Helen Whittaker (team 100WC) Says:

    You’ve written a really exciting 100WC this week. I like the way you’ve chosen some connectives to use to link your story together. I think your story would be easier to read and have more suspense if you remembered to add in some more sentence punctuation. Good writers of exciting stories use a mix of sentence types but remember to put in short sentences. I think you meant to do this as you wrote ‘I thought what it could be.’ I think you could have carried on with short sentences here:
    ”What was that I could feel?’
    ‘Is it a spider?’
    ‘Is it slender man?’
    ‘I don’t know’
    Can you see how it makes your story more exciting? One way to remember punctuation is to always read your work back to yourself. Keep up the writing.

  2.   bears Says:

    i like it

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