How have we used our 100 words this week?

Tillie mae 100 wc week 20

once upon a time there was a baby jaguer being born the parents named him Jaffar.Jaffar was a lovely little boy he loved chaseing butterflies and jumping really. One day the the little jaguar was climbing up the hill when suddenly he spotted a grey hyena , he looked really miserable.jaffar JAFFAR get away from there and come get your sandwich shouted his dad ok jaffar replyed and he went and eat his sandwich.Yum that was so nice can i have another one asked jaffar you cant your father has gone hunting for some meet so you can have 2 tommorow if theres spear ok said his mum ok replyed jaffar.

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015 at 2:25 pm and tagged  | Comments & Trackbacks (4)

4 Responses to “Tillie mae 100 wc week 20”

  1.   B.P. Says:

    Your story had lots of good ideas like JAFFAR get here and eat your sandwich. But next time try to get lots of your spelling right.

  2.   Kauanoe RIllon Says:

    Hey Tillie- Mae! I really enjoyed reading your fabulous Story this week! Hope to hear more from you next week!

    Kauanoe Rillon (Honolulu, Hawaii)

  3.   Mrs Boyce @ Team 100WC Says:

    Hi Tillie Mae,

    Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge.
    I enjoyed reading your story. You have written a nice story including all 5 of the prompt words. Well done! I’m glad he spotted the grey hyena . I was afraid something sinister might happen to Jaffar.

    To improve your writing you might try looking at your punctuation and spellings. Remember capital letters at the beginning of sentences and full stops at the end. Also use quotation marks “” “” for the spoken parts.

    I look forward to reading more adventures from you during the year.
    Mrs Boyce @ Team 100 WC
    Cork, Ireland

    Come and visit our Class Blog at

  4.   Mrs Fine (100WC Team) Says:

    Hi Tillie-Mai
    Well done for using all 5 prompt words – they were hard to put together this week weren’t they? I must say I do think the jaguar’s mum is clever making a sandwich! I loved how you started your piece – you describe the little jaguar beautifully. My favourite bit is ‘he loved chasing butterflies and jumping really high’ (did you mean this word?) Next time you write, read the piece out loud afterwards, and decide where you need to take a pause. This are the places where you could think about putting a full stop or a comma.

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